An Imperfect Hello

Hi, I’m new here. My name is Leah, and I’m a psychotherapist, keynote speaker, author, and a self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist. (Okay, okay—I’m still a perfectionist, but I like to believe I’m making progress.) For decades, I’ve crafted high standards for myself, all in the name of “success” and avoiding negative judgment. My perfectionism wants me to write ‘recovering’ because that would mean I’ve transcended those standards and am fully aligned with my InnerCritic—so much so that she trusts me enough to no longer show up, guns blazing, to shoot me into a spiral of anxiety. It’s rare, but it still happens from time to time.

As a psychotherapist, I’ve helped countless people navigate their inner worlds, but in many ways, I’ve been on this journey right alongside them. I’ve learned that the path to healing isn’t about perfection—it’s about the messy, imperfect process of self-acceptance. And while I’m here to share the work I’ve done with clients, I’m also here to share my own ongoing journey.

Hi, I’m new here. My name is Leah, and I’m a psychotherapist, Yale clinical instructor, keynote speaker, and a self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist. (Okay, okay—I’m still a perfectionist, but I like to believe I’m making progress.) For decades, I crafted high standards for myself—all in the name of “success” and avoiding negative judgment. My perfectionism wants me to write ‘recovering’ because that would mean I’ve transcended those standards and am fully aligned with my InnerCritic—so much so that she trusts me enough to no longer show up, guns blazing, to shoot me into a spiral of anxiety. It’s rare, but it still happens from time to time.

As a psychotherapist, I’ve helped countless people navigate their inner worlds, but in many ways, I’ve been on this journey right alongside them. That’s part of what led me to write Serial Fixer: Break Free from the Habit of Solving Other People’s Problems—a book about learning how to show up for others without losing yourself. It’s about recognizing when we’re taking on responsibilities that aren’t ours and learning to set boundaries without guilt.

This Substack is an extension of that work. While my book is the manifesto—the culmination of my insights and experience—this space is where I’ll continue the conversation in real time. Think of it as the behind-the-scenes of the themes in Serial Fixer, where I explore how my own personal reflections and ongoing growth shape my views and sharpen the ideas in my book.

All of the other spaces I contribute articles to, such as The Atlantic, Newsweek, and Psychology Today, are framed by professionalism and demand a certain standard. But here, I’m giving myself permission to share more freely—still with intention, but without the usual constraints. As a therapist, I’ve been trained to remain in the role of a space creator, staying protected and bound by professional limits that discourage self-disclosure and vulnerability. But I want to shift that here. I want to share the messy, the imperfect, and the inner workings that go beyond pacifiers and Band-Aids—both my own and those of the people I’ve worked with—hoping that in doing so, you’ll feel validated, empowered, and gain new self-awareness.

Let me break down what kind of perfectionist I was… I mean, am…ugh! I know jack about fashion, decorating, hosting, or brands. I’m not perfectionistic in that way. I care about how I look, and my workouts are one of my primary non-negotiables, but I can’t compete when it comes to being trendy or popular. I’m pretty raw, earthy, and I’m trying to age gracefully, categorizing my new grays and wrinkles as resilience badges. Things I’ve earned. But when it comes to perfectionism, my tendencies gravitate toward how others perceive me—showing up perfectly for others while still honoring myself and being authentic. I was heavily influenced by my relationships and, at times, lost myself in the shuffle for fear that I would hurt someone else or cause discomfort. So, I would swallow it and trust that I could accommodate and reconfigure things without being a burden to others.

I’m not a pushover per se, and I don’t have a problem advocating for others, but I’ve often been motivated by the desire to be seen in only positive lights. Logically, I know this isn’t achievable, yet my perfectionism pushes me to present as someone who doesn’t make mistakes when it comes to people. (Wow, I can feel my energy draining just typing that…) My fierce InnerCritic and InnerPleaser have been my biggest cheerleaders, constantly fueling my drive to serve, empower, and connect. But they've also been the source of intense false narratives and anxiety.

So there you have it. There’s my intro.

Too much? Are you ready? Wait, I shouldn’t care. I should proceed either way.

Until next time…